Showing results by narrator "Jonathan Sleep" in All Categories

After the devastating events at Zodiac Academy, we have to deal with this hollow reality we're faced with. Lionel seeks to destroy us, the Nymphs seek to destroy the entire Fae race, and between all of it, we have to try and survive each day and prove our worth in this forsaken place. I'm afraid of everything falling apart, but it looks like it already has. Death lurks around every corner, and it wants to claim me and my sister. But together, we will overcome the darkness that seeks to defeat us.

The stars have cursed us all. After the devastating events at Zodiac Academy, we have to deal with this hollow reality we're faced with. Lionel seeks to destroy us, the Nymphs seek to destroy the entire Fae race, and between all of it, we have to try and survive each day and prove our worth in this forsaken place. I'm afraid of everything falling apart, but it looks like it already has. Death lurks around every corner, and it wants to claim me and my sister. But together, we will overcome the darkness that seeks to defeat us.

Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.

War had been averted—but at what cost? The Empire stood fractured, exposed—and the scent of weakness drew predators who had waited years for this moment. One of them had already made his move, sinking his claws into the Empire's wounded body with a death grip—not to destroy, but to...

The Empire's elite were finally beginning to face a hard truth: the age of impunity was ending. Every action—no matter how well hidden behind privilege or title—now carried consequences. Understanding that truth was one thing. Accepting it was another. For the most zealous Princes, power...

The oyster is one of Earth's oldest animals, and fossil records show humans have enjoyed them for hundreds of thousands of years. But like so many other creatures, wild oysters were driven to near extinction by overconsumption and pollution. The Clean Water Act marked a turning point for water...

Lianthorn Belladonna could have been so many things. An artist, a mage, a gardener. Instead, his family sealed his future, trapping him in a life of scheming, poison, and murder. He's through with it. On the cusp of completing his poisonous masterpiece, Lianthorn makes a choice that will change everything. He flees the gilded cage of their family manor and seeks refuge in a quiet town on the outskirts of civilization, where the name Belladonna means nothing.

Having established leverage over Mordred and influence in the Cardinian government, Tim is ready to move forward with the next phase of his plan. But Mordred has an ace up his sleeve that could shift the balance of power back in his favor. Cooper and Nabi attempt to reunite with the rest of the gang. Stacy and Dave are forced to put their differences aside and work together to avoid capture and execution. Julian tries to find something productive to do while Chaz goes a little too far with the rockstar lifestyle. Katherine is done taking shit from old foes.

This is a collection of short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: "They Fight Three Giants", "From the Bowels of Hell Hounds", "Tossing the Salaad", "The Fuccubus", "Fistin' the Furious", and "Pixie Dicks".

Calexa Acura and her crew of misfits are lost, and their ship is in desperate need of repairs. When a massive spacecraft appears in their radius, they're helpless to resist its magnetic pull. The terrifying ship is bigger than any craft she's seen in her life, and somehow, she doubts its occupants will turn out to be the friendly sort. First Encounters are always better when they're amicable, but if necessary, Calexa and her crew will fight.

The adventure continues. Tim and the C and C gang face their most difficult challenges yet. Horses die. Eyeballs are eaten. People are urinated on. A god is born.

Going back home was not exactly what Tim and the C&C gang expected. Trouble continues to follow them back to Gulf Coast Mississippi. Trouble...and a gnome...and an undead midget.

Finding themselves permanently stuck in this strange new world, the gang tries to make the best of it by finding the nearest tavern and getting shitfaced. The plan goes just fine until they lose Katherine and Chaz.

This is a collection of the ninth six short stories in the Caverns & Creatures series. It includes the following titles: Look Before You Leak, Bred Dwarf, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Alcoholic Gnome, Don't Get Too Athached, Fool's Gold, and Kiss My Cloaca.

A collection of absurdist and thought-provoking stories from the author's Return to the Dirt, Just Speculating, and more, including unreleased, exclusive, audio-only content! Performed by a cast of award-winning and Audie® nominated narrators. Fans of the macabre, dark humor, and cerebral thrillers are guaranteed a good listen. Occupational Hazards is an unflinching ride through the absurdity of it all. Existentialism, absurdism, and outlandish humor merge with ordinary, workaday life for a truly unique perspective of the human experience. Not recommended for the faint of heart or easily offended. But if meaty stories are what you're after....We hope you're hungry.

The end of the Sowir Dominion draws near as the Empire resumes its offensive. The retaking of Guxcacal home-world begins, as the Empire's fleets invade the remaining Sowir territory. But the Sowir still have surprises up their sleeves. Adrian Farkas awakens new abilities, buried deep inside the human genetic code by their ancestor Axull Darr. And with them the Empire gains all the knowledge contained inside the device left by their ancestor, the sum knowledge of the People, the first intelligent race in the universe and the ancestors of Humanity and the Nel.

This is a collection of the eighth six short stories in the Caverns & Creatures series. It includes the following titles: This Poo Shall Pass, Hung Ogre, Fortune Favors the Kobold, Asses to Asses, Love on the Rocs, and The Winds of Cooper. If you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

The Boss of the Shadow District has fallen, and the Clans who seized power aren't happy—especially those whose interests I inadvertently disrupted. Now the list of people who want me dead has grown, with a second offended Grand Prince joining the first. But will that be enough to stop the rising Paladin of Darkness? Well, let them try.

After Katmere, I shouldn’t be surprised by anything. Including the existence of a world beyond my world called the Shadow Realm. Yet here I am, stuck in a strange, dangerous place with the worst of the supernaturals, the monster that other monsters fear: Hudson Vega. He might be Jaxon’s brother and ridiculously hot, but he’s a complete bona fide pain in my ass. The question is whether we’ll find a way out before I kill him…or run out of time.