Showing results by author "Simon Carr" in All Categories

Frank has questions, many questions. Startled to learn that his wife did not die after smoking mushrooms, in their mushroom smoker and burning the house down, Frank sets off on a quest to find her, and the many answers to the many questions that he has about her disappearance. The quests just keep coming, as there’s trouble in paradise, a rogue saint, Saint Charlie, has quit his job as a saint, and he’s come to Earth to make the world his domain.

At this extraordinary national moment, with the country in lockdown, Audible teams up with some of our country's biggest stars, as they invite you in to their own homes for some uplifting chat.

Bob's day is off to a bad start. He is abducted by alien blobs and is put into a zoo, while the rest of humanity is being taken to be slaughtered and turned into burgers. He has had better Thursdays. Bob's handler Fred befriends Bob, and the two of them try to change the legal status of humans from food to intelligent life so that the slaughter ship can be stopped and everyone returned to Earth.

Cy has had his monster license taken away, and he has been reclassified as a Pirate, on account of him just being a normal guy with just one eye. The Pirates life is not for Cy so when an opportunity to get his license reinstated presents itself, Cy embarks on a quest, of some kind, with some people of some description, to get something or other.

Well, that was sudden! Shamus turns on the television to discover that the planet has been invaded. Drew, Sabastian, and Mary, along with Shamus and an alien visitor, Teak, are all that survived the swift apocalypse.

Bruce thinks he is helping mankind and playing his part in saving the planet when he develops his serum for speeding up the development of lab-grown cultured meat. What Bruce has actually done is send us to the bottom of the food chain. Well, not all the way to the bottom. We are still above ducks. Nobody gets eaten by a duck.

Bishop's Point is about to face its biggest crisis since the distempered badgers attacked. Father O'Riley and Father O'Malley are all that stand in the devil's way. The forces of Hell descend upon the sleepy Irish town en masse, but they were not expecting the good fathers to lead a rebellion against them.

Dracula looks on in horror at the monster's duck pouting on Instagram: teen vampires glistening in the sun with fabulous hair, werewolves with hipster beards.... He decides enough is enough. He will salvage the monster image with the monsters of old, and remind the world that they are so much more than fantasy objects for teenage girls.

Oddly, it turned out the only people who could survive a zombie apocalypse are spice zombies. A squad of spice zombies must use their immunity to the pandemic that's turning everyone into real zombies to save the last of humanity. Will the lowest of society forgive the way they have been treated to save the people who look down on them, or will they just get smashed on the free drugs and booze?

The locals of The Bull’s Head meet an odd salesman after hours. The future of the entire planet hangs in the balance. Everything depends on them and their ever-dwindling grasp on sobriety.

This is the legend of Saint Frank, and the great deeds he what did to earn that Sainthood, not born a Saint, in the beginning he was just, Frank, but not long after some stuff that took long, he became Sir. Frank. Sir. Frank may or may not have slayed a Dragon, if he did then this is the Tale of how Sir. Frank became Saint Frank, and if he did not then this is the story of nearly a Saint Frank and a triumphant Dragon.

The birth of the legend! War is brewing and the galaxy's only space sheriff and his robot companion will not be enough to contain it. An awesome hero saving the day with dumb luck and unlikely coincidences can only get you so far. But when epic battles loom, epic friends are required.

A STORY OF REALITIES, SPACE AND STUFF Dave’s new job, working on the wall of Copernicus sets off a series of events that just keep escalating really, what starts as political discourse somehow ends up being a race through time, space, and reality itself. Join a group of weirdos and oddballs as they explore the very complex social and physical aspects of the ‘stuff’ that surrounds them. A multiverse is an odd place and very odd things happen inside of it, so much so you can lose sight of whatever it was you thought was not odd, to begin with.

There was always one point, one moment in all of reality where everything that was will fight for everything that might be. It’s this point. Well, several points, but all happening at the same time, but not the same time. It’s super complicated. Some question whether it really happened at all, or will happen.

We are back with all this business, so we are. You would think the church would be more careful with them doomsday books after what happened at Bishops Point, but it’s happened again, so it has. This time things are very grim. Santa himself and his whole operation up there in Lapland have been taken over by the Dark Lord.

Terrorists tried smuggling a time manipulator through customs, only it went wrong, and it ended up in the hands of a schoolboy, Alex. He thinks it is a time simulator, so he is using it to do his history homework. Every time Alex uses the time manipulator to travel back in time, it creates a copied universe, because you can’t travel backwards in time. If you could, we would all be doing it, right? So the gravity from all of these universes are pulling each other apart. Everyone's going to die, unless a band of heroes finds a way to save us all.

There's a lot to cover here, ok, first what if the voice inside your head left and became a mop, you ever think of that? of course not, why would you, forget that. Second! If particles are everywhere all at once until they are observed, then why do we all see the same thing when we observe them, who is doing that, it can’t be us or we would all see something different, who or what controls what particles become when we look at them?

For a millennia, they sat waiting, traveling through the dark, empty, cold vacuum of space, plotting our demise. Every continuity was planned in detail. They were ready to wipe out our armies, crush any resistance, and sweep aside any warriors. Mankind’s fate was sealed. It was only ever just a matter of time. What they had not planned for - what they are not ready for - is Karen! Any likeness between Karen and any real persons alive or dead is purely inevitable.

Things have escalated! You would think that after you had saved the world that you could be confident that your hardships and adventure type shenanigans would be put to bed, but no! He! Him! And other singular pronouns that sound sinister are hunting Nigal, Mikey, not so much Sandra and Malik but for the sake of argument and drama we will say that he is, that’s like a generic he by the way not a gender affirming one.

The seas belong to Cy and his crew. Since they left Olympus Island everything has been just peachy. Their blissful existence upon the waves was not to last. Poseidon, sore from being banished from Olympus Island, thirsts for revenge. Finding the unbeatable Toad-man army, Poseidon sets in motion plans for his vengeance against Cy and his crew. Buckles getting swashed, magic, fantasy, and other cool stuff awaits you in the tale of when One-Eyed Cy fought the Toad-Man army.