Welcome to today's episode of What to Say and How to Say It with Nina Roesner and Kyle Hargrove.

Have you ever confronted someone… only to somehow end up feeling like you're the problem?

You're not crazy—and you're not alone.

In this episode, we unpack a powerful and often misunderstood manipulation tactic called DARVO:

👉 Deny

👉 Attack

👉 Reverse Victim and Offender

This pattern is more common than you think—and it can quietly damage marriages, relationships, and even your sense of identity if you don't recognize it.

We'll break down:

✨ What DARVO actually looks like in real conversations

✨ Why it's so effective (hint: emotions + confusion)

✨ Real-life examples (infidelity, addiction, everyday conflict)

✨ How to recognize when it's happening to you

✨ Practical ways to respond without getting pulled into the cycle

✨ Why your identity matters in breaking free

If you've ever walked away from a conversation feeling confused, blamed, or questioning yourself—this episode is for you.

💡 Take the next step:

Head over to greaterimpact.org and take our Marriage Assessment.

Whether you're thriving or struggling, it's a great tool to help you grow.

🙏 Remember:

Healthy relationships require truth, clarity, and responsibility.

You don't have to stay stuck in unhealthy patterns.

👍 Don't forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and COMMENT

We'd love to hear your thoughts and continue the conversation.

In this episode of What to Say and How to Say It, Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner continue their series on healing generational trauma using the Connection Steps.

Many of us learned how to survive growing up—pushing down emotions, overfunctioning, or trying to fix everyone else. But God doesn't heal us by shaming our pain. He heals us by comforting it.

Today we talk about how to move from survival mode to soothing, learning to become a safe place for your own heart while receiving God's comfort.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why many families pass down emotional neglect
• How trauma disrupts our ability to self-comfort
• The difference between validation and comfort
• Simple ways to regulate your emotions and nervous system
• How inviting God into your pain brings real healing
• Why learning to self-soothe helps break generational patterns

When we learn to receive God's comfort, we stop demanding others regulate us and start showing up in healthier ways for our marriages and families.

📥 Free Resource:

Get the free PDF "5 Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells" and take the free marriage assessment at:

greaterimpactwives.org

🎧 Subscribe for more conversations about faith, emotional healing, and building thriving Christian marriages.

Marriage problems often begin when "we" turns into "me."

In this episode of What to Say and How to Say It, Nina Rosner and licensed professional counselor Kyle Hargrove talk about how selfishness quietly damages marriages and why many relationships become transactional over time.

They discuss how the enemy uses blame, resentment, and score-keeping to divide couples—and how shifting from "What's in it for me?" to "What's in me for it?" can transform a relationship.

You'll also hear a simple framework for healthy connection in marriage:

5 – How can I help you?

4 – I'm proud of you

3 – I love you

2 – Thank you

1 – We

When couples choose service over self, marriages grow stronger.

Take the free marriage assessment at:

greaterimpact.org