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In this episode, we unpack one of the most misunderstood dynamics in therapy: masking.We start with the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model and how somatic work helps clients notice real shifts in their nervous system. Then we get into what therapists often miss — clients who look “fine” in session but are shutting down outside the room.

We cover:

• Why clients mask in therapy (often without realizing it)
• How therapists can misread progress
• Dorsal vagal shutdown and what it actually looks like
• When a memory is too big for the client’s current capacity
• Why some people stay emotionally stuck for decades
• How blame can block real healing
• The link between underdeveloped identity and addiction risk
• Short-form content, attention and ADHD brains
• The pressure to appear regulated in everyday life

If you’re a therapist, helper or someone trying to understand why change can feel harder than it “should,” this episode will give you a much deeper lens.

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Guest Elizabeth Morrison is a licensed therapist, MS, LPC, in Texas, that specializes in treating Neurodivergent individuals.

We talk through what’s happening as mental health language goes mainstream: it’s helping more people seek support, but it’s also creating confusion, oversimplification, and “pop psychology” that gets repeated as fact. We unpack what neurodivergence and neurodivergent actually mean, why traits aren’t the same thing as diagnoses, and how real clinical work depends on nuance, context, and felt safety. The conversation also zooms out to schools and families, exploring how kids’ behavior often reflects unmet needs, overstimulation, and a lack of support rather than “badness.”

• Why social media spreads both awareness and misinformation about mental health
• Neurodivergence vs. neurodivergent vs. neuroinclusive (and why the labels matter)
• Bottom-up vs. top-down processing and how that changes therapy approaches
• Common neurodivergent presentations discussed: autism, ADHD, OCD (and the broader spectrum)
• Stimming and fidgets as regulation tools, not “bad habits”
• Burnout, dopamine/energy drain, and why everyday tasks can cost more for ND brains
• The difference between having traits and meeting diagnostic criteria (clinical significance)
• Limits of assessments: masking, self-awareness gaps, and the nuance tests can miss
• Medication basics: what it should and shouldn’t do, and when to revisit dosage/prescriptions
• School systems, missed support, and why behavior is often communication
• Practical parenting ideas: reducing demands after school and asking better questions
• How family patterns repeat across generations and how therapy helps revise the “old contract”

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Welcome back our guest Sandra Killebrew, a therapist specializing in high-conflict couples therapy in Seattle, WA. This episode dives into the messy, magical work of being a therapist. We unpack what happens when clients come in with chaos—blame throwers in hand—and how playfulness, props, and presence can shift the energy in the room. From adolescent therapy and couples work to private pay dilemmas and therapist boundaries, we explore the art of staying human while holding space.

Topics include:

• The “blame thrower” metaphor and how to manage chaotic energy
• Using props and playfulness to disarm resistance and build trust
• Working with teens: safety, attunement, and how to not take the bait
• Couples therapy, contempt, and staying grounded in the storm
• Therapist self-awareness: when over-identifying does more harm than good
• Navigating private pay vs. insurance expectations
• What happens when clients want therapy to “fix” someone else
• The loneliness of solo practice and the beauty of professional community
• Energetic integrity: how we show up when the room feels off

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Have any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run