Today we select our Final 4 in the Dolly 64, after struggling with self-imposed rules that don't serve us, identifying the Dolly songs that won't end up in a commercial for floor polish, and speculating on that waterboy's future coot prospects. Why did it take us this long to come up with the phrase "the Fortress of Dollitude"? Maybe because we inhaled too much pink Partonclave smoke...you'll have to listen to find out.

Intro and outro by Andrew Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Where it all began with the Dolly 64

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It's the hardest round in every bracket season in some ways, and the Dolly 64's Sweet 16 ep is no different. How many different lists did Sarah have? Is Mark's "Dolly didn't write it" rule going to last? These questions and many more -- which one old coot shall rule them all; whether every "typical" Dolly is good; how to embody "kuntree" without making it a moral position -- as we rest our boobs on the points scale for our latest episode. Find out whether we ended up with an Elite Eleven and listen now!

Intro and outro by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Billy Joel's "Glass Houses," Ranked (with Dan Rogge!)
• Episode 62: "Ode To Billie Joe" And "Harper Valley PTA"
• Episode 91: 2018 Oscars Best Song Nominees, Ranked (With Joe Reid!)
• Episode 135: Shakira, "She Wolf"

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The second half of our Dolly 64 Round Of 32 is still confronting the question of which Dolly Parton narrative voice is the most typical and/or dominant. It's also confronting hashtag coot songs, clarified Miracle Whip, the fine gradations of Tennessee mountain-home ownership, and identifying as kuntree without defensiveness. How many aprons does feminism wear? Listen and find out!

Intro and outro by David Gregory Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Episode 18: Led Zeppelin/Dread Zeppelin/Dolly Parton, "Stairway To Heaven"

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"What a way to make a living," indeed -- the Dolly 64 Round Of 32 raises a lot of tough questions. Which Dolly are we talking about when we ask which song is the Dolliest? Which tracks unite the coffee shop, or go in a college syllabus? We've really got some feelings about pitiless Southern stories, meeting the old-coot brief, the importance of conveying tumescence in pop music, overrated crayons, and Barry Gibb's avant-garde prepositions, so listen now!

Intro and outro by Andrew Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• America's Damp 40, Episode 04: The Roaring 20

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We're wrapping up the Dolly 64 opening round this week with songs that work better in theory than in practice, the difference between "not for me" and "not good," countrymaxxing without slagging "coastal elites," and Vrbo text art in song form. Is it weird that this is the section in which a Dolly Parton song finally bats a thousand points-wise? Maybe...but not really. Whatever you came in here looking like, listen now!

Intro and outro by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Christine Ebersole sings "Single Women" on SNL
• The Dolly 64 E03: Round Of 64
• Beats Around The Bush, Episode 04: May The JVC Force Be With You
• Episode 91: 2018 Oscars Best Song Nominees, Ranked (With Joe Reid!)

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The Dolly 64 season has reached perhaps the strongest bracket section in our third ep, with the joyful chaos of mis-alphabetizing, growers and showers in the holler, songs about things men don't want to hear, and multiple hauntings by Little Andy and the narrator of "The Bridge." Find out which Dolly Parton track got ranked "Richard Bachman," how to take control of a cover, and much more in our latest episode!

Intro and outro by Andrew Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Extra Hot Great 316
• The Dolly 64 E01: Round Of 64
• "Encores! Shows Why Big River Isn't Coming Back Anytime Soon"
• The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 1: Resurrection Mary
• "Miriam"
• Episode 195: Dolly Parton's Underrated Hits

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The Dolly 64 season continues with our second set of first-round contenders, including overplayed classics, underrated '80s gems, toothless platitudes, tempo no-man's lands, brand ambassadors to the Lord, and things Dolly Parton does well that might not make the first paragraph of her musicianship wiki. Here WE come again, and we hope you'll have a listen!

Intro and outro by David Gregory Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• The Crime Seen podcast
• "How Willie Nelson Sees America"
• Episode 195: Dolly Parton's Underrated Hits
• Record Of The Year Showdown, Episode 2: 1975-1990
• Record Of The Year Showdown, Episode 3: 1991-2006

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Welcome to our Dolly 64 season -- in which we use a highly scientific*, legally binding* March Madness-style bracket to determine the most quintessential Dolly Parton track of all time! In our first episode, we make Final Four predictions, scheme in the style of Tammany Hall, wonder why Mark's parents aren't president, distinguish between country and kuntree, and honor the "old coot at the edge of town" Partonian subgenre. Daddy, come and get an all-new episode of MASTAS!

*...no

Intro and outro by Andrew Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Dolly the sheep
• March MASTAS: Britpop Edition
• The "5 to 9" Squarespace ad
• The "Sad Ass Songs" episode of Dolly Parton's America
• Episode 62: "Ode To Billie Joe" And "Harper Valley PTA"
• Episode 133: Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers, "Islands In The Stream"
• Just a couple of what Wikipedia diplomatically calls Chuck Berry's "controversies"

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