This story includes loss - in memory of Ernest Levert Jr.

To be held is an embrace. To hold is to be responsible for something or someone.

Several characteristics define a community, including shared identity, interaction, shared purpose, shared norms and values, and support systems. This helps foster a sense of belonging and collective action among its members. The premise of ubuntu, "I am because you are," involves recognizing our shared humanity, practicing empathy, and acting in ways that benefit others.

Birth Stories in Color is a community. In this space, we hold each other. Most days, we can access our email or social media accounts and be greeted by someone who wants to be held. We paused… and you understood. Life happened. We witnessed the unfolding of one of our own. We let it breathe. Then we opened the door. We offered to hold. Then we held her. We offered to hold it or share it. She offered it to you…

We met Ivory and Ernest together for the first time in 2021. They shared their miscarriage and the birth journey of their daughter, Zamya. Now in 2025, Ivory shared their story without her partner’s physical presence, and we welcomed his spirit in.

A beautiful surprise of a second pregnancy between Ivory and Ernest was met with conflicting ideas about the timing and the physical and mental adjustments. A few weeks into the pregnancy, gratitude and excitement replaced Ivory’s early misgivings. Parenting a toddler while pregnant proved to be more of a challenge than Ivory anticipated. She laid the groundwork for a healthy pregnancy and prepared for a homebirth this time. Midwifery care, additional care with an obstetrician, chiropractic care, and regular massages allowed her to feel at ease as they prepared for birth.

Towards the end of the pregnancy at 34 weeks, Ernest experienced a severe headache that led them to take a trip to the emergency room. He was sent home without a diagnosis. About a week later, he experienced a catastrophic aneurysm rupture while visiting his favorite coffee shop. He was rushed to the hospital. The prognosis was difficult as the doctors could not offer answers, but they explored all of the options. In those early hours, Ivory started to see gestures of care and intention moving through her community. She was faced with holding life in her womb, raising life in her home, and the fragility of life holding on in the hospital. She held on as she was held.

Labor came. She prepared her space with affirmations, photos of her and Ernest filled the space, a friend facetimed from Ernest’s hospital room, and everyone on her birth team followed her lead. Baby Zenith was born peacefully at home.

Postpartum came with some ease as she was nurtured at home. Ivory struggled more emotionally with balancing joy and sadness. The hospital supported their family by moving Ernest to an area that would allow the baby to come with Ivory during visits. Ivory shared her experience managing care for herself, her children, and her husband. She attributes her practice of gratitude as a source of strength and community care through it all.

Ernest Levert Jr. joined the ancestors on January 8, 2025.

Resources:

Eliza Kay | life coach and Certified Professional Midwife (CPM)

Kelli Blinn | Columbus, OH doula and educator

Javana’s birth experience taught her some important lessons about self-advocacy and the current structure of maternal health in the United States. The gaps in education about options and the variance in how providers operate through the perinatal process led her down a road of challenges and fear.

Over thirty hours of labor started with mild, irregular contractions and pieces of her mucus plug releasing. Javana experienced irregular labor patterns that kept her home until her water broke. That shifted her mindset to watching the clock and did not feel like she her labor was intense enough to be in active labor. She attended her scheduled doctor's appointment and she was 2 cm dilated. Her doctors advised her to go to the hospital later in the day and suggested mid-afternoon. Arriving at the hospital led Javana down the cascade of interventions that started with an IV against her wishes. Labor started to feel isolating in that she felt alone and unsupported by her nursing team. Eventually, Javana accepted more interventions than she originally intended and an epidural helped her get some rest after being in labor for so long. Her most compassionate caregiver was the anesthesiologist, as he listened to her and talked her through the challenges of placing her epidural. After that the baby had some heart decelerations that concerned the care team. Javana was exhausted by the entire experience and she consented to a surgical birth.

After a challenging birth and hospital experience, Javana chose to honor herself in her motherhood with experiences of joy. She feels prepared to embark on her second birth with more knowledge and understanding of what could be.

Resources:

Tinyhood | online parenting classes

The Birth Hour | birth story podcast

Evidence Based Birth | online childbirth resource

All About Pregnancy & Birth Podcast | parenting podcast